Twelve Years Unspoken

 

Twelve years ago, our son died.

The next day he was born, still.

I know.  It is backwards. There is nothing right about a child dying. Words often fail to capture our emotions. Either we cannot speak or there are no words. As a loving tribute to Zachariah, I share this poem.

 
Twelve Years Unspoken
 
Entering my favorite flower shop,
Passing by teddy bears and blankets,
I close my eyes, a prayer unspoken.
 
“Three yellow roses and baby’s breath, please.”
She says, “We have no baby’s breath.”
 
Appropriate, I suppose, since neither did he.
 
She offers other “little white flowers.”
But it is baby’s breath I long to see.
 
“Then just the roses.”
 
Reading my credit card, she pauses,
“Oh, I didn’t recognize you.”
“It’s OK,” I say.
 
The reason I was there
Hung in the air,
Unspoken.
 
“How have you been?”
She quietly asks.
 
I whisper through tears,
 “It’s a hard day.”
Twelve years, unspoken
My voice gives way.
 
She shares, “I’m sorry.”
Tenderly wrapping each rose,
“Hang in there,” she says softly.
It helps that she knows.
 
I nod,
Gratitude
Unspoken.
 
I walk away.
In my empty arms rest
The yellow roses
With no baby’s breath.
 
My heart, broken,
Holding love, unspoken.

 

Nancy Berns
February 1, 2013
This entry was posted in Death, Grief, parenting. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Twelve Years Unspoken

  1. Lisa Schirch says:

    This is a really beautiful set of words with so much more wrapped up in them. Simple beauty and profound pain. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Joan R. Diller says:

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful feelings. Your words say so very much that many others are feeling but cannot express. Thank you.

  3. Noelle Meridith Deigan says:

    I am truly sorry for your loss. What a loving and lovely poem, thank you for sharing it with us.

  4. Michelle says:

    Nancy,

    Our lives are parallel … thank you for giving me the words I needed.

    Michelle

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